Word Vomit.

Yummy.

I think I am the only one who doesn’t like Beyonce. I don’t like her songs a lot. (Only sometimes.) I don’t think any of her music videos are that great. She doesn’t have the greatest fashion. I think she is fine, but I don’t seem to be as in love with her as the rest of the world. Maybe I just don’t get her. Why is she so awesome according to everyone?

I am so so ready for Christmas break. Possibly hanging out with someone I haven’t seen in like forever. Possibly flying in a plane. That should be fun. I will get to see J. Kind of looking forward to that, but kind of not. Based on the last phone conversation it sounded like he kind of wanted to get back together maybe. I don’t know if I want to. I don’t think I do. Does that make me a horrible person?

I don’t like hearing about rape. Every year at school each semester there are two people (in some criminal justice type job) who come and talk about it. Ther have been a lot of gross disgusting awful things, but those never bother me that much. Yes, I think they are gross or bad or disgusting or whatever, but rape is just… I don’t know the right word, but it’s worse than the other things. There was a speaker who caught like online people. It was probably my least favorite speaker I have gone to.

Dear people still wearing sweatshirts and shorts, It is freezing outside. It is snowy and when I go out I usually can’t feel my nose at some point. I’m pretty sure the only way you wouldn’t be cold is if you are drunk. Are you drunk?

The main purpose of this post is what I am writing now, but I was writing all the other stuff because i’m not sure exactly how to write about this. I wrote all that other stuff because I was kind of hoping by the time that I wrote this then I would be able to better say this. Unfortunately it still might not make sense, but oh well.

I was talking on the phone yesterday and we were talking about sex. I wasn’t very good at explaining my opinions about it. I don’t think people who do it before getting married are bad or anything negative. I also don’t think people who wait until they are married are weird or wrong or anything. My opinion is more about waiting until you are positive it is right. I wouldn’t want to until I was 100% sure about it. This may be part of the whole I can’t do things without thinking too much about them though. You (Person I was on the phone with.) told me that I am too logical and think about things too much and over analyze things too much. I know that is true, but I don’t think I can change that very much. You even told me to think about something and purposely do something that didn’t make sense. While I don’t think I will be making any trips to Walmart and 3 in the morning for cereal with anyone I think that thinking about something and purposely doing something not logical is what I would do. I can’t help it that I over think things. I think too much. I can’t really stop that. Anyways back to the whole sex/marriage thing. I am not 100% saying that I would wait for sex until marriage and not 100% about it before marriage, but that it will happen when it happens. If it doesn’t happen until I get married I am fine with that. The only problem I had with our conversations that we have had about this is that I think you probably feel the same was as a lot of people. When we were talking and I jokingly said something about how I just wouldn’t ever get married because maybe I wouldn’t feel like doing that with anyone before married, well I think I might have made you feel bad about what you were saying. I really don’t mind hearing your opinion, because I kind of agree with you on some of the things you said. My only issue is that it seems like everyone thinks the way you do and finding someone who doesn’t think I am weird/odd/not normal for my thoughts on this seems like it will be impossible. I don’t even think J really understood what my opinion was. Also, I’m not saying that I want to date/marry someone who has the exact same opinions as me. (That would kind of suck.) I just want someone to not think I am weird/odd/not normal for my opinions. Most people I have talked to about this either think that sex while just dating people is fine or no sex or anything until marriage is fine. It is kind of funny to me that both of these types of people (even though they are completely different) think I am weird/odd/not normal for not choosing one of those.

Also, to the person I talked to about this and anybody I might ever talk to about this. I don’t mind talking about thigs like this. It just bothers me a little because it seems like everyone seems to think my thoughts are wierd and well if everyone thought you were weird then you would probably start to be unsure of yourself too. Even though it bothers me, I still like hearing other people’s opinions though so we can still talk about pretty much anything. One more thing: you might think that I have too high expectations about things like sex/marriage/dating, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Yes, I may be delusional in thinking of this amazing fairytale type of thing, but if I don’t think of it that way then it seems like none of it matters. Maybe my expectations are too high, but right now I kind of like my little dream world.

Dear people I may possibly think about dating in the future, If you think I am weird or something is wrong with me for my opinions about sex then the chances of it happening drop a whole lot closer to zero. Sorry. You should be less judgemental. : )

Dear person I was on the phone with, Hearing you say that you haven’t had any girlfriends/hook ups or anything in a while because you judge whether or not you would date them based on like long term/marriage/can’t remember exactly what you said but it was something similar to those was so adorable. You sounded confused when I said it was adorable, but I think it was cute and adorable and like aww. Also, I kind of love being able to talk to you about like all sorts of random things. It’s pretty awesome. You are a very very good friend.

Do you know the answer?

1. What is the difference between hanging out with an experson (Who you don’t want to date.) and going flying in a little plane and hanging out with (possibly) slutty girls in small tight clothing? Which do you think is worse?
2. Even though I know that people have linked to my blog from certain sites why does the incoming links section on wordpress not show them?
3. How much does it hurt to get zapped by a taser?
4. If someone said they had a picture that they were going to put online, but they didn’t because you might get mad at them, it is perfectly acceptable to get mad at them for not wanting to show you, right?
5. How do you know if your expectations are too high or if you change those expectations you will just be settling for something less then what you deserve?
6. Is it safer to fly in a small plane in the winter or summer? I am scared of flying so just telling me that planes are safe doesn’t do any good. I think summer. Am I right?
7. What’s wrong with me? (Guys seem to date me for however long and then decide to go date someone who wears tight too small clothes, tons of makeup, and does a whole lot of stuff.)
8. What is so bad about dating me?

It would be awesome if you answered. Please. If it makes a difference I reply back to all comments. : )

Product Recommendations?

So. I kind of want some new stuff so if I just list it all here maybe you can recommend some stuff. The only tihng I do not want is anything super expensive. Regardless of the price though tell me whatever products you like. At school there are not very many options to shop it’s basically Target!, Walmart, or the mall. The mall doesn’t have much. I refuse to shop at Walmart though because it is not organized very well and I hate going there. As you can see my preferred option is Target!. (Target! should always be spelled like that I just decided because it’s like the best store ever.) It is kind of reallly annoying though that I keep buying different things that I don’t like, so whatever you can tell me is great.

Here is the stuff:
Hair product: I cannot find anything that will make my hair less frizzy or less tangled.
Lotion: It is almost always greasy.
Face Moisturizer: I just haven’t found a kind I like.
Chapstick: My favorite right now is alba or burts bees, but are there any other good ones?.
Face wash: I still haven’t found a kind I like of this too.

Also, any other random things that you really like and would recommend?

Stuff I say.

on Twitter. If you know anything about using a neti pot and could tell me if it works/how good it works, is it healthy could you comment and tell me.

I don’t get that

When you find out your girlfriend is talking to her exboyfriend from like forever ago (highschool) why does that have to bother you?
I understand about the whole worry thing and I would probably worry too, but I wish that worry didn’t exist. Being told there is nothing to worry about doesn’t help and I wish I knew what would.

Why does talking to an exboyfriend feel like I am doing something wrong?
I have no desire to get back together with him and I just enjoy talking to him. It’s nice to catch up with eachother. We have a habit of talking to eachother for a few weeks and then not talking for like a year and then we talk for a few weeks and then not talking for a while. Talking to him shouldn’t seem wrong because I am not doing anything wrong and i’m not flirting or anything, but I think it probably bothers me because I know it bothers my boyfriend.

When you see someone wearing a football jersey and no one else is why do you assume they are the type of person who just likes to break rules and get away with it?
They probably are the only one who felt like it and they probably wouldn’t like you assuming they are a bad person.

Why would you expect someone to cancel plans that they have had planned for a while kind of to do something with you and other people?
Especially if those plans are like an hour away. Talking more about wanting to go out isn’t going to make them suddenly transport closer to you so you can hang out. I’m sorry your thing got done earlier but ours didn’t.

Why isn’t it easier to learn things?
I study so incredibly much, but I still don’t do amazing on all of my tests/papers/exams/homework. I am studying good and feel like I know the stuff, but when it comes time for the exam I seem to forget everything.

Do I really need to get my license?
I HATE driving. I think I need to get my license and I really mean it this time. I don’t know how long the weather is going to stay good though and I would rather not do it when there is snow and stuff on the ground so maybe spring break.

Why can’t the Iphone receive picture messages?
It can do everything else and it can’t do that? Dude.

Why can’t everyone just have a million dollars?
I know some people would waste it and spend it on things they shouldn’t, but I would love to not have to worry about school loans so much later. I would prefer to spend my future paychecks on things that I need/want at that future moment not school bills.

Why don’t I have more friends?
Umm… because I am kind of ridiculously quiet around people I don’t know. I also worry too much about people not liking me or what I am saying or a million other things that I shouldn’t be thinking. I need some new ones. The current ones are good they just aren’t that many and it kind of sucks. I like to think that I am not as shy as I was when I was younger, but being at college I think I have become more shy. Stupid internet for giving me a distraction from interacting with real people.

When someone is incredibly nervous about getting accepted to grad school/graduating/finding a place to do an internship and they tell you about where they want to go to grad school why would you say: Only one of those is good because ___ is associated with that school (worked there/went to school) and that the others are not in good areas and that one of them is not really a place you actually should want to go to school it’s like Purdue Calumet (in other words: Bad/Fake College)?
Seriously? I think it’s crap that you said that. I am already nervous enough about not getting accepted anywhere and now if I don’t get accepted to that one school I don’t want to talk to you about where I am going. I don’t want to discuss grad school with you at all. Why would you say any of that to me. I have discussed these schools with my mom and i’m sorry to say this, but her opinion means more to me then yours. She likes all of my school choices and thinks they are fine and she didn’t even say anything bad about me looking at Valporaiso University. It may not be my first choice, but it seems okay and if I decide to go there and you say anything bad about it I will probably just quit you. I hardly ever see you and we never make plans that far in advance and you get mad when I make other plans (even though I didn’t know if you would be home) and I really don’t need this. I just want you to be happy about what I decide to do.

Why do I have more to talk about with my ex boyfriend then my current boyfriend?
Probably because we don’t talk that much. I think the last time I talked to him was like ohhhh last year sometime maybe. I just don’t want to talk less with my boyfriend. That would probably help, but I don’t want to.